Home Is Where The Discipleship Is...
I actually started writing this post back around Christmas time but never finished it. The cool thing is the conversations I've been having with a good friend of mine along these lines.
The same is true of discipleship as it is of leadership. They seem to walk hand in hand and in most cases are indistinguishable. I love studying, reading, and learning about leadership and recently in my study reminded me of something, as a leader, you will reproduce yourself. In other words, you will make those you lead like you. That’s a sobering fact.
My wife and I are so blessed and privileged to have two children, Michael and Matti, that we adopted in June of 2011. They are incredible kids! All who know them know they are full of life and love. Just like every other parent, I want them to be successful, hard working, but more than that I want them to fall in love with Jesus. I want them to go on to do greater things for THE Kingdom than I could ever imagine for my own life.
My question is, why is so hard to do these things at home? To pour into my own wife and kids the way I pour into students regularly.
I think a part of it, at least for me, is they see the worst in us. I'm not proud to admit it but my family too often catches the brunt of frustrations that aren't intended for them. I'm not abusive or anything like that but I'm not the loving, supportive husband and father I need to be when I'm bringing those frustrations home.
Something I believe is even a bigger part is something I call the sin of passivity. I know I struggle with it but I believe this is something men all over struggle with.
" When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it." -Genesis 3:6
So this guy named Adam stood by and watched his wife Eve eat of the fruit causing sin to enter the world. All he had to do is to say "um baby, that's not a good idea." His passivity is now passed down to all men. This is not a copout or some excuse to be this way, this is something very real we struggle with. It's hard, if not impossible, to lead your family if you're being passive. (Just so I'm clear, I believe lording over them is just a harsher form of passivity) If that's what I'm going to reproduce in my son, what my daughter is going to eventually look for in a man, I've got to do something.
The good news is, as Romans 5 says it "that by one man [Adam] sin entered the world and death with it through one man [Christ] sin was conquered and life brought." (paraphrased) Much like Adam, I have a tendency to be passive. To let my family say, do, watch, and listen to whatever. To allow the enemy to speak lies into their lives. Through the power of Christ, however, I get to draw the sword and cut the head off the snake when he speaks his lies here.
I try hard to live out the life of a disciple of Christ in my home. I want my kids seeing me praying, reading my bible, loving my wife, etc. I want them to know that I'm flawed and in need of immense grace daily, from Christ and from them. I want them to never doubt my love. More than that, I want them to know that I'm not afraid to fight for their hearts. That when the enemy is present, I'll be in between them and him.
I'll finish with this. 1 Corinthians 11:1 says, "follow my example as I follow the example of Christ." I've strived to live this outside of my home and now declare it inside my home! If I am to reproduce myself, I want to reproduce disciple making disciples of Christ!