Fallow Ground

I was visiting with a friend of mine the other day. An organization he played a part in was transitioning and I wanted to know how he was doing. Something he said to me rang true and deep within me. He said,

“The word I’m embracing right now is ‘fallow.’”

I honestly had no clue what he meant or what he was referencing so I had to ask. You see, fallow is referring to farmland that’s been plowed and possibly even fertilized but left unsown. It’s prepared to have something planted but it’s not happened yet.

That statement, again, rang very true to me and where I am right now. Like many in my position, I’ve been working to maintain church and ministry. To keep things moving in the right direction. I feel that’s the best way I can describe things, maintaining but not necessarily growing. That’s not to say growth isn’t occurring but it looks and feels different when it does. Of course we’re all in a season of longing to be back to normal and for many, a new normal, but there’s more.

Around seven years ago, God laid it on my heart to host a discipleship conference. In April of 2013, I hosted the first ever Ordinary Discipleship Conference. It was a success! Not necessarily in a huge turnout or even the overwhelming responses but that God blessed my obedience. In fact, the friend that I referenced before was there at that conference leading worship. What happened the next couple years was nothing short of God. Ordinary grew!

Not only was it an annual conference but I was given the opportunity to work with different organizations on leadership development which is something I’m deeply passionate about. Fast forward a few years, I lose my mom. My mom was a huge supporter of mine and always one of my biggest advocates. She even financially supported the work I was doing through Ordinary. After a few months had passed I felt the season of Ordinary had come to a conclusion. Looking back, I think so much of it to me was connected to my mom. The longing and the passion I had for those things never went away though. I think they’ve been lying dormant at best.

Now what?

I’m not sure I can answer that question today. To find myself in a season of longing wait. It’s not fun, at least not for me, but here I am none the less. I find myself to be fallow, waiting for the planting knowing a crop will come. I’m not really good at waiting or the whole God’s plan, God’s time. I want to be where I’m supposed to be even though the truth is I’m not ready to be where “I’m supposed to be” yet.

What are you waiting for?  What longing do you have? I pray it’s a fruitful season for you.

Photo by Zbysiu Rodak on Unsplash