When I Don't Feel Like Leading
Leaders oftentimes find themselves in interesting places. Whether they’re managers within an organization, a pastor, or some type of peer leadership they have to continue to be leaders in and through their organizations but the truth is they’re also probably leading in other places of their lives. They typically have families, friends, and other leadership roles and opportunities that can take their attention. So the obvious question we look to ask is “how do I lead when I don’t feel like leading?”
It’s a valid question and one that every leader has probably asked at some point in their time in leadership. By no means is this something I’ve figured out but it’s something I’ve wrestled through and truly continue to wrestle through.
I typically wear my emotions on my sleeve. Not in a people have to tiptoe around me or anything like that but in a way that people typically know what I’m feeling. What that means in my context is I’m oftentimes in front of people. Sometimes that’s a smaller group setting such as a meeting or seminar and other times I’m in front of a large group of people. I don’t know about you or your context but it’s probably not a good idea for me to step in front of my people and simply say,
“I don’t feel like leading today”
and walk out. I’m sure we’ve all had times we’ve felt like that but we can’t lead like that. Here’s a few thoughts to help us process leading through these times when we simply just don’t feel like leading.
KNOW WHEN TO PUSH THROUGH
I don’t prescribe to the “fake it until you make it” mentality although I get it. Sometimes we have to just compartmentalize everything and get the job done. That may feel like faking it at times but when we understand our role is the mission it’s not faking anything but staying the course to what you’re called to. I know myself that I have the ability to “turn it on” when I find myself in these times. It can be incredibly draining but it’s a necessity in leading when we don’t feel like it.
BE MINDFUL OF YOUR EMOTIONS
This one is a little harder. People are notoriously bad at self-evaluations but the best leaders learn how to have honest conversations with themselves and those close to them to know how and who they are. When we don’t pay attention to the emotions we’re navigating, the good and the bad, we can lead through those emotions instead of the truth of who we are. This is more true of the negative emotions than the positive but we must be mindful of both. Some people are better at compartmentalizing than others are. Whether you’re good at this or not, be mindful of the emotions you bring and how it affects your leadership.
BE HONEST AS YOU CAN
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling your people, especially those that you have established relationships with, you’re in a tough season. I think it shows vulnerability and develops trust. It shows that you are a person that walks through the same stuff they walk through. There’s a couple things this means though. First, you can’t get in front of your group on any kind of regular basis and tell them what a tough season you’re in. If that’s the case, it’s not a season your in but that’s how you do life. Secondly, if you’re going to share the tough seasons make sure you’re sharing the good ones as well. For some, speaking these things, and for others, receiving these things, takes time but leaders that are able to be vulnerable with their people are usually able to take their organizations and their people to another level.
GET SOME REST
We all walk through times and seasons of life that are harder than others. These times usually require more of us, more of our mental capacity, more of our emotions, and more of our attention. Giving more means there’s less of us to go around. Not just for our teams and organizations but to our family, friends, hobbies, and even ourselves. Sometimes we just need to recognize we need a break. When opportunities present themselves, don’t fill your schedule with more stuff, take a break. Slow down, take a break, GET SOME REST! It’s so important that we take care of ourselves so that we can take care of our people.
There probably has been times where you didn’t feel like leading and there will probably be more times in which that’s true. Stay the course! You have what it takes! What are some things I may have missed? What are ways you lead when you don’t feel like leading?