Leadership Struggles: Self Care
As we all know, the best leaders are those that begin by leading themselves well. The leadership pipeline we’ve talked so much about begins there. To really begin to understand to lead ourselves well, self care has to play a part. This is one of those things that’s probably a little different from person to person but I think there are some very clear things that everyone has to do in order to take care of themselves and seek to lead well. This isn’t one of those posts that’s going to revolutionize the way you think about your leadership but I hope it’s a great reminder for all of us.
To begin to understand what it means to take care of ourselves, I think we have to take a holistic approach to who we are. We are more than just a sum of our parts but we do need to understand what those parts are and how they work together. Every person is made up of the spiritual, the emotional, and the physical. It takes all of these working in harmony for us to be at our best. What I want to do is break each of these things down briefly and talk through some ideas of how we can look to take care of ourselves in each context. Let’s start with the spiritual.
No matter your beliefs when it comes to God and spirituality, people are by nature spiritual beings. In fact, one could argue that our souls are who we are at our core and all of the other aspects we’ll talk through. To begin to take care of ourselves, I believe it starts by one, recognizing that we’re spiritual beings, and two being mindful to feed that part of who we are. We must realize how much this particular aspect of our lives affects the others and in doing so affects who we are. Some simple ways to make sure we’re feeding ourselves in this is by spending time in scripture, spending time in prayer, and spending time in community. I recognize that the “time in community” piece will play itself out in the other aspects as well (which should tell us a lot about our relationships) but it plays a big part of our spiritual journeys. Let’s move on to the emotional.
It’s very interesting how when we feel emotionally worn thin we feel worn out in other ways, especially physically. Our emotions dictate so much of how we do life, make decisions, and do relationships. I believe the first thing we need to do in order to take care of our emotions is to be mindful of them. Our emotions are natural and we’re created with them. They are meant to be part of our lives. When healthy they can help act as guides plus they play large parts in connecting in relationships. We have to recognize that and know what we’re feeling. Don’t suppress or dismiss your emotions but be aware of them. A good question to ask in this regards is, am I feeling what I’m supposed to be feeling in this moment. What I mean is, am I feeling angry in a situation that calls for anger? Or am I happy in a situation that calls for it? When we ask these questions and really wrestle with the answer, it helps us keep our emotions in check. In order to stay healthy when it comes to our emotions though, we have to do something with them. One of the biggest ways to remain healthy with our emotions is to keep them in community. Yep, there it is again. We need people in our lives that we can fully trust and we can be the truest us we can be, even if that means it’s not always pretty. When it comes to our emotions we have to be real and at times raw but it has to be around the right people. Let’s move on to the physical piece.
This is the part that becomes glaringly obvious but we still need to process it. I would argue that there are three parts to taking care of our physical bodies. They are sleep, eat, and exercise. When we’re not sleeping enough or not sleeping well it will take it’s toll on our bodies. Much like when we talked about the emotional weighing down the physical, the opposite is true as well. When we’re consistently tired it will wear down our emotions. I’m not saying how much sleep one needs to get but I am saying we need to be mindful that we are getting enough and in seasons where we may be getting less, we must be mindful of that as I said earlier in the emotions part. When it comes to eating and exercising, these go hand in hand. Our diet is what fuels us. It’s the “garbage in, garbage out” principle. When it comes to exercising, even just a good walk at times can help out. There are so many studies to show the health benefits (physical, emotional, mental) of exercising and the endorphins that are released. The reason these two walk hand in hand is your food is your fuel but on the other hand, you can’t out work a bad diet. We don’t all need to become fitness junkies but we do need to be mindful of these things.
I think the most important thing I can remind us of as we begin to wrap up is how these three things work together. Sure, we can be intentional to focus on each one but we can’t separate any out and expect it to carry the day. When one gets’s too far out of whack, it starts to bring the others with it. There will be times in which we have to focus on one more than the others but not to the point of neglecting them.
I recently heard Jon Acuff and his daughter, McRae, on a podcast. They weren’t talking about this particular subject but McRae mentioned she uses the word JEEPS in order to be mindful of her own self care. It’s just a simple way to take assessment of our lives. It’s just Jesus, Exercise, Eating, People, Sleep. It’s easy way to remember and be mindful of these things. Again, you probably don’t need to focus on all five of these at the same time but be aware of the low places in any given season and focus on growing there.
In order to lead others well we have to first lead ourselves well. In order to lead ourselves well we have to take care of ourselves. In order to take care of ourselves well we have to know what makes us up and how it’s all connected. Be mindful as we go through. Stay the course, you have what it takes!